I must be coming down with a cold. Every muslce in my entire body is completely exhausted and useless. I sleep all the time and I'm still terribly tired. I guess maybe last night didn't help, as I laid awake panicking about life and everything. Then I bathed in some general anxiety at the subway. Calmed down and now I'm at work, feeling like every bone in my body has been pulverized.

I'm just freaking out about my life in general.

''Life is locomotion. If you're not moving, you're not living.''

Barry Allen inspiring me to do what I want to do, even if it might be slightly stupid and reckless. My brother said I'm young and supposed to be moving about all over the place. I don't want to get stuck in one place. No place is ever really it, you know? Neh. I'm just talking crazy again.

It's just. It's all so limited. We're all dying. This is all so very pointless. It's big. Huge. We're... we're supposed to do something, right? But what? And how?

''At some point you have to stop running from something and start running towards something.''

You have to keep the faith. You have to do something with your life. Be relentless. Because those who succeed are those who never gave up, no matter how much something sucked. Stagnation is the enemy. Is it alright in youth to run aimlessly? To run just to run? If you run enough, do you arrive somewhere? Or do you just land far off the map? ''We slave, then expire.'' 

So what do you want to do with your life? Do you even know? If you know, how will you do it? What will you do if you fail? Or is there no point to having a plan B? Maybe one should stop thinking about the possibility of failure. Stop thinking about the consequences if you make a wrong move. Think of what you want to do, where you want to go, and go there. Make a plan and go there.

I don't want to wake up one day to realize I've stopped. To realize I've done nothing but trample water. If you were to ask me today what I do with my time, the answer would be ''I get up, go to work, go home, eat cereal, go to bed. Repeat.'' That's not what I want my entire life to be. I want to do what I want to do. I want to try. I want to make something I can be proud of, remembered by. I want to make something worthwhile.

Who cares if people get upset or hurt or whatever. This is my life. I get one. I have to get it right.
Right? We're not supposed to waste this.

Gosh, I'm really getting tired of having an existential crisis every time someone brings anything life-related up.